EDNA
[So], how is Hanzel, [Dear]?
GRETL
Oh, you know…
EDNA
I don't know...s'why I ask.
GRETL
Same, as usual.
EDNA
What is “usual?”
GRETL
He's so broken.
EDNA
**tsk-tsk* [shaking her head, sipping tea]
GRETL
—wvich is fine—
EDNA
Good for you.
GRETL
Yes, it is—but still—almost sad.
EDNA
[shrugs] Almost.
GRETL
[shrugs, sips tea in unison with edna]
EDNA
Would you like another?
GRETL
Sure, why not?
EDNA
[she pours another mug]
GRETL
Wvat is this?
EDNA
It's just coffee.
GRETL
Are you sure?
EDNA
…
GRETL
…
EDNA
….
—-
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
HIIIIIYYYYYAAAAAHHHH
STAY DOWN, BITCH.
YES, I WIN.
don't get up.
GET BACK UP.
seriously, don't move.
GET UP, BITCH!
no, you don—
BLACKOUT.
Ooohh.
Kick to the face.
That was to the neck.
Neck/face— ♀️
There's a difference.
S/he has a short neck.
X.X
The famed Edna Mode (The Incredibles) becomes excruciatingly angry after learning that SupaCree has altered the “supa suit” she designed for her—by adding a cape.
I wish i was pretty
Tim admitted that might be the last wish he grants me this century;
Wanna make history... but now I make dollars for callers,
I'm all in my misery
Misery: Listen to me!
I didn't mean to see something in Sonny nobody should see
And this shit'll make history;
Guess i'm blessed,
Now he's dead to me
“Bless you” I said,
As I sneezed when they cut off my-
...
Now I live on a silver platter,
I splatted: my hat's on the pavement
Must be something ‘bout Asians,
Cause every time I say ‘Amen' when I'm praying for
Sonny, or Kayla Lauren, or whoever this demented demon that's chasing me--
Satan asks for a payment, and says
“Hey! Now, a pop quiz in Mandaran,
Learn to speak Spanish, fast, if you can,
Cause american ignorance, laziness, complacency and impatience
Is ending this country.”
--It's ending this country,
And the reason why I'm homeless is I decided to run for president and run from him at the same time,
And then nobody wanted me
Nobody wanted to see the things I would preach about,
If they let me out,
Of these restraints now;
I'm not havin a cow or nothing,
I mean i'm lactating, wait;
Did he throw my 8 week baby at our other baby,
Just to punch me?
Broke it off with Sonny a decade later for throwing a Grammy Award at me;
Literally and Action Figuratively
Hasn't happened yet,
But all of the future history I remember is vivid to me
So he has to be Evil, I think
To claim that he loves me all these infinite ways and dimensions,
And then throw a demon instagram basic bitch at me
Now she's the reason I bleed and can't eat for a week--
I'm tired of being Jesus, but he's still on his leave, and
I'd probably be laughing if I wasn't magnetically attracted to half of the Industry's greatest
I hate myself, I hate Dillon Francis and I hate him,
But only ‘cause I can't make it to the banquet.
I burned the sweater he gave me and left the blanket with my ex,
I was stressed, yes,
Left my luggage in Boston just to get to Dillon Francis at XS in Vegas and Write this:
“WHY GOD!?!? WHY DILLON FRANCIS?!”
Jumpin Jumpin, Destiny's Child
June 4th, 2021
XS NIGHTCLUB, LAS VEGAS NEVADA
See, I told you.
There they go.
I guess.
Alright, where's Rick?
He's here— I can smell him.
That's—
There he is.
Mmm.
Stop lookin nervous—
I don't like this.
Alright, that's good ^.^
Okay. Let's find this portal.
Damn.
Huh.
Last time I was here, it was to see—
Don't say Skrillex—
—It was to see Skrillex.
Fuck you dude.
——-ahhhhh——!!!!!!
GET IN THE SHIP.
—I AIN'T SIGNING SHIT—
YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!
[WAPPING]
alright, that's it!
GOD!!!
That's not my name.
(It is.)
—-what?
Where are you going?
...We're going camping.
All of us?
ALL OF US.
Oh, shit!
Get IN THE SHIP.
Woah.
NOW!
—-
Ugh.
Oooof.
Bad.
Get up.
Ummm...who are you?
Get up, you have to perform.
Perform for WHAT?
Come on, dude—
—okay, first of all—
Uh huh
[A SUPERSTAR DJ] experiences the dance floor..
...As a fan.
But (I got nervous) what I meant to say, was
DILLON FRANCIS is stuck in SUPACREE's body, and vice versa.
She must perform in his place.
Stop it, man.
I have an itch, I'm gonna scratch!
Not the ink.
What is it?
Don't touch it.
Don't touch it.
DON'T TOUCH THAT—
—OR, DO. ♀️
. . .
...I don't know.
What do I do?
Push the button.
Which button, Gerald?!
The PLAY button.
You're a DICK
It's ROUND—
—what, your di—?!
—NO, the BUTTON.
WHICH FUCKIN BUTTON.
Ooh, I got one.
[the Motherf*ckers are fuck hunting]
It appears as though they lost all their fucks—
DILLON FRANCIS has plenty, because
“Chandelier
Lol.
Pop.
Bang.
Ooh
Oh. My God.
What. Wake up. We're here.
Im addicted
It's lit lit
Getting lifted
Gifted shapeshifters sit in
While I disintegrate my disinterest
What is this?
You're in it
Did I mention I made you a sandwich,
It's still in my kitchen
Oh shit, the—
“That's The Tallest Skrillex I've Ever Seen”
Oh wow, tall.
Never thought about that
Thump thumps—
Where'd they come from?
This is nuts:
What is this.
This is earth.
No.
What is your life's, what is your life
Where is your wife
And why can't I get this shot right
Right on time? Right?
That's the guy, right?
Might be—
It might be time- Tame Impala
I don't know, but I'm down for the night
Going wild for the
I
I
I forgot my line, like:
Try to write an album on the dance floor
All these lines, VI—what's that for?
I'm free from, call me kudi I'm reborn
Call me Lynard Skinnard. I'm a freebird
Oh please—
You got me weak in the knees
Bitch please
What are teeth?
Take me out to chuckle cheese
Tell me what your disease is,
It's easy
I'm a pleasure,
I'll teach you
Now let me get a drink
Before I speak truth
OH MY GOD. I love His fandom so much.
Love the fandom, cause I am one
Call me Katy imma go dumb
Call me carnage, with a green thumb
Drop the Bass up In Your face,
I call it thump thumps
What's for lunch
Let's get drunk
Don't make me go pop the trunk!!!
Oh YOU!
YOU!
YOU!
What's wrong with him,
What'd they do to him.
What's—wait.
Look at that face.
That is not the face of a free man.
I'm a trash can.
Yeah, well...that.
Who's his master?
I am.
What!?
Goddamn!
I did that.
What is that? A sandwhich?
Just have half.
WHOOOP-WHOOP!
What! Whoop whoops?! It's MUCH too earty for Whoop Whoops!
Far too early.
Where's Chak Chel?
oh my God!!
Who's this LADY?!
I'm in VIP
Give me a sip
I'm gonna get lit, eat chips with Chak Chel and then dip
“What is this sauce?”
It's ranch, dipshit.
You're an ass
NAH, I'm A PIÑATA.
Bitch, I'm the boss,
I wanna get lost in my thoughts,
But I'm lost in the box
I'm a rockstar, rockstar games. Or maybe
Okay this:
He has a man purse. I like him.
What's going on?!!!!
He has a man purse, we like him
He has a man purse, we like him
He has a man purse, we like him
He has a man purse—
GET THAT S#iT
BAMPHER:
—You're in.
I'm in VIP
OH YOU FUCKIN WANNA BE
LOOK AT MEEEEEE
IM MR—
There's Rick.
Mx. Meesinks.
Hi—I'm—
Get this bitch
[picture of SUPACREE/SKRILLEX/a whatthefuck]
Yesssiiirrreeee
Don't call me sir.
SIR
And—
SERVANT
Wait, there's more?
SCRIBE/DARK LORD
There's always more—
SIR
Aaanddd—I would like to be called “sir”
SERVANT
Excuse me?
SIR
Call me sir.
Third eye itching,
Let me stop and take a picture
Switch it
Feeling wishy washy,
Kinda bitchy, kinda bossy—
Where the party at?
you lost me.
Where the fuxk I park my car—
It couldn't be that far—
I—
I—
I—
I—
— I woke up on a farm
God.
WW
U D
IM ABOUT TO DO WHAT JESUS WOULDNT DO
(Yes, I would.)
Whoop whoop!!
—Nope, still too early.
OMG look.
Birds!
Becky, Becky, Sarah—
Oh, there's Sarah!
Wow, Nancy's recovering well, yeah?
[NANCY, freshly out of her neck brace; attends her first show since “the incident”—after breaking her neck to EXCISION, her friends agree that DILLON FRANCIS will be a safe bet.]
Damn, people don't give any type of fuxk whatsoever.
Nope.
[drinks]
So what do we do?
Have a drink.
I'm a robot, now
No home, no soul
I'm a robot now,
No friends, no phone
I'm a robot now
And I'm always all alone
I should be proud
but I'm a robot now
{mixes with A.A., iambic}
What is reality?
That's not dancing.
Let's just—no.
No, l—no
What the fuxk.
What the FUXK!!!
How did he get here?!
Look at him.
No, don't look.
(Don't look at me.)
Don't look at him.
Aww.
GET UP DILLON, it's time to go!
What is time??
WHAT THE FOOOOOO1–
posaqwwwwwwwwww——
GADDAAAAAAQAAAMN!!!!
STAAAAAAHHHHP.
Goddammit, what are you doing here?!
Everybody's here.
Nah.
Nah.
[everybody is there.]
Nah.
Got this catatonic obsession,
Shoulda learned my lesson,
There's a learning curve to everything;
You finally taught me something
Floor is so sticky, I can't even sit and meditate
Can't even find the space to write this
My mistake, not my guy, I guess?
My idol, maybe friend?
I know those eyes inside of mine each time I see them
So what is freedom?
So that's it,
There's no love left
It's just money and sex
No new friends
So that means
No new beginning—
And at the very least no new enemies—
Please
Gerald!
Damn, you're hot.
Okay, knock it off
I got it.
I got it.
I told you this would happen.
Doesn't it always?
“Follow the eye”
Or just DONT
Time to go.
I love that song.
I almost wore that shirt;
I love that song!
I am that song.
What.
I think I need a day, or forever, maybe
To get away
Time flies when you fast;
I just danced my last dance,
Thanks, Dillon Francis.
Now when I meditate and pray I can ask
GODDAMN, what the fuck was that about
Now where in the fuck is my hat,yeah
Grab that piñata,
Let's look at the map,
Maybe tonight, imma get in a fight
These white girls are like
DANE COOK
“MINE”
Pelicans
MINEMINEMINE
Hot Vollyball Girls:
MINE.
Alright, that's enough.
No, stay here.
What the fuck.
NO, STAY HERE.
Okay, I—guess.
NO, STAY HERE.
Fuxk, the watchers.
I thought they didn't want me here.
He doesn't care?!
Clearly—
Clearly nothing—! Gather more evidence!
What in the world do you want from me?
What in the world do you want from me?
What in the world do you want from me?
S Ū P ∆ ⓒ Я E E.™
He's a very handsome man, the full package
She's actually a retired dancer, turned rapper;
The trash can and last kandi handler,
Handed a band to a fan, that's reality shattering yeah
What happens after?
Back to camp, I guess.
SWIPER
Aww, maaaan.
I just wanna hold hands with a piñata, but I can't;
I just want the answers to the questions I asked, answered, but nah.
Have you seen my left arm?
It's self harm, and it's just harmless, a charm—
All I did was send magic to that man,
Laughed under my mask, but haven't had a chance to love again since the last man banned me from having ‘happy';
So I can't handle this thirst trap,
I reverse that Mantra from can't to
Yea I can,
Now,
Where is Pan at?
Ask Hanzel After, actually,
Scratch that,
I said I'd never turn my back on him, but
Here's my butt and my backpack.
I'll see you at Bass Camp,
Or a Mansion,
Or @ a mention,
And thanks for the graduation,
I hate my name, and I'm famous, maybe
But hey,
I just want someone to know me,
I'm really lonely,
I owe money to every agency,
The governments enslaving me by my name and a paycheck.
I've written albums, but haven't gotten paid yet;
I wrote a novel, about a man I'm willing to say I've never met,
Cause I respected him—
And the Sadness Never Ends,
I made a fandom out of friends,
How it ends is with a pen and paper, I guess
My hands on the decks, I'm just an ambidextrous sexually ambiguous DJ bitch;
And Dillon Francis is my favorite producer, cause
I'm just a loser who refuses to lose it,
Enough to end the pollution and politicians who use us for getting richer
I snap a picture, no movement.
So even though I wanted to, I didn't—
No pictures, no press releases and no random bitches;
I just saw him in a vision, and at least ten astral projections,
Got a circle of protection, a lesson,
Cause now I'm branded and stressing
OWSLA kicked me out,
CAuse I'm a Cow,
But I can also be an owl
I'm growling now, I'm on the prowl for anyone to let me out, I'm trapped
And down, cause he's out of my league,
And I like him now.
AHHHGGG (Eggageratedly disgusted sigh)
(busted) --WHAT?
YOU WENT TO DILLON FRANCIS LAND--WITHOUT ME.
Nooo...I didn't.
YOU DID, and you had a GOOD TIME.
It's always a good time...
AGH--
AGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
[One attacks, the other runs.]
{Enter The Multiverse}
[The Festival Project.™]
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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©
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Z so