“My Pet Coelacanth”


“My Pet Coelacanth”


LEGENDS

What did you DO?!

What did I do?

WHAT DID YOU DO?

DID I BREAK SOMETHING?

I told you, they're evil!

Can they help it?

No, at this point, it's just cyclical.

No. No. No.

(Flashback)

“You sold your soul to music.”

CUT BACK TO:

I certainly did NOT.

Ahem.

(Before)

“I'll trade then.”

WHAT?

She did say that.

I did say that.

Well FUCK. What was HIS deal?

I don't know!

I don't think anybody knows.

Joel would know.

Uhm. I'd like to phone a friend.

You have friends?

I have a friend.

[phone rings]

Who is this?

THAT'S IT.

What was “It”?

WHERE'S MY PHONE.

Ah, Uh-Oh.

Fuck this shit.

Don't fuck up.

I'M GETTIN ON TINDER.

Awww, fishsticks.

That sounds tasty.

T-t-t-tasty–Tastaaayyyy.

Shut up, Fergie.

FERGIE

I like drugs.

[Nobody Objects Entirely.]

COELACANTH.

WHAT IS THAT?!

I don't know.

{Coelacanth Approaches]

OH DEAR GOD.

I mean, I'm sure God's partly responsible for any of this–

WHAT IS THAT?

That's just Coelacanth.

Fucking–JESUS CHRIST.

I mean, maybe–

AHHHHHHH.

Just calm down!

WHATTHEFUCK

He is shy–

[Coelacanth murmurs]

–I think.




{Enter The Multiverse}



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