In the last video of the series “Healing from Affairs,” we talk about the type of conversation that helps a couple to heal from an attachment injury such as an affair. Couples have difficulty healing from an affair because their communication is focused on attacking and defending. The injured partner attacks the one who committed the affair who defends themselves from the accusation and sometimes also attacks back. These failed conversations only serve to injure them over and over again and create more disconnection.
In this episode, we show how couples can talk in a vulnerable way. The focus is not on describing the other person's character but on speaking about one's feelings. The injured partner tells the other about their hurt and their sadness. The other takes ownership of what they did in a vulnerable way and talks about their sadness for hurting their loved one. This kind of communication brings them closer thus helping them to heal from the attachment injury. It also helps them have the kind of relationship that will shield them from future injuries.